this is where i am.

i have living my life here at sans franciso
on my own for the past 8 mths.
thinking back how my life is.
its better to make a new life.
my mum died two monts ago which i didnt really visit her fuckig grave at all.
dad was stil somewhere in the world.
and JAMES still out there.
ALAN still in JAIL>
FUCK YOU.
now im in a university.
taking masters.
it was so sad no one really sees how i grow how fucking succed i am.
well im still here.

truth

my brother's touched was totally amazed.
i am onced fucking pain fucked by ALAN.
it was a little plasure plus alot of pain.
when the pain is off, you'll crave.
what james did was,he first kiss my lips
i was full naked when he's halved.
when he kissed he naturally massaged my underneath.
i was so into it.even thou how hard you pled..
he would not stop.he was fucking strong
he massage it again. hoilding on to his well built body,
he then massage my breast real gentle.that makes me so high and insist to go further.
he then removed his pants. it was erected.
he asked me to hold on to it and at the same time shake it vigarously.
it was hard.
he then said(was freshed in my mind still)
'shake it and lick it.suck it. taste strawberry'
he knows that i like strawberry so much.
my mouth was stretched big enough.
it tastes good REALLY.
as im doing it,he was licking good.
it was real fucking good
he then shouted
'routate elle'
i was so annoyed.
i was wondering what the hell was that?
it was the next move.
after jewels was well moisturised,its time to nourished it further.
that was where FUCKING starts.
it went in fucking slow.
aiming not to hurt much.he knows i was once a victim
it hurts a little.
as it goes to and fro. it goes vigarous.
i was yelling hard.groaning.
it was so.
did different sucking POSITION.
GIRLS TAKE NOTE:it was fucking ROCK+FUN
he started to fuck more vigarous.
which i think he's too into it.
i pushed him away.it was pain.
he's too good to be on the same bed as me.
i forced him to get out of the room.
he finally took his pants out.
'thanks elle. you are also good in bed with strawberries.
i was confused.
who has he gain experience from?
thinking i was at stake ii left home for SANS.

LESSON TO LEARN:
take care of yourself.
do not depend your life with someone else.
you would not want to end yourself fucked up like this all the time.
TRUST ME> this is an experienced.

realising what i did was fucking wrong.
if im telling you im not a whore,
im LYING cos im playing apart with james(my step brother)
im not stopping you cos i really want you to know how it fells getting addicted to sex.

GOTH..

yeah fucking life it is.
after i was exhausted on bed, i finally think that sans is still the best
place for me to settled down with.
it was a great escape.
what the hell does all this man want from me?
PLEASURE?
as i recapped,
first was dad then alan next was JAMES
i know some girls would regard me as a whore.
giving in to my brother.
the first experience was fucking pain when u are still a virgin
that virgina was torn and bleeding when hardcore's alan penis was inserted.
i was totally depressed

i ran away from james.
LIVING uS forever.

GOTH wants u to read

that was all my grudge.
but that doesnt ended there.
i AM embarassed to ell the whole public about my LIFE story.
but its the fact.
i want all the girls to learn this.
be prepared.
WORST YET TO COME.
i had a brother. elder brother.
we were so fucking close.
we did everything together.
he was my step brother. he was GOOD.
until i ended underestimate him.
he loved me and i loved him.
our bond seems like real brother-sister love.

when finally one day.
both the oldies( parents)
had a vacation at mexico.
we were left ard.
as usual when i reached home.
i had shower.
my shower room was transparent.
i was soaping and pampering myself with the hot water.
and i heard a screech.
i ignored probably my imagination.
i swear to GOD.
i never wanted these to happen
some hands had just touched my a cup breast.
i was shocked.
it was my brother.
i plead to him. he did not want to hear me.
telling the truth.. when he uncloth himself.. im totally amused.
he looks good. i was then dragged to bed when im stil in bed.
how was i so shocked that he had LONG penis and it SCARE me to death.
many i plead him. he just refused.
it was then insert. pushing it to and fro.
disbelived myself. im doing it with him. he, my brother isnt secure enough.
the truth. second time was a FUCKING good feeling. i played apart.
it does sounded that im CHEAP right?
i am not.
i love him too much that i totally give in to him. his penis was coated with
delicious strawberry taste that makes me feeling to lick his super huge penis.
he totally rock on bed. my breast was squeezed by his hand.
abt 1hr 1/2.. on bed and i totally realised that im at stake.
i started to cry and asked him to go away when i realised it was too late..
even thou the feeling was good and wish to go for another round..
i realised.. im at wrong.
next minute i packed my bag.
leavind a note to mum and him who destroy me,
fly off to sans francisco.
my final destination.

so people even thou he your brother, DO NOT GIVE IN!
what if he makes u pregnant?
u wouldnt want it.

GOTH WANTS YOU TO READ IT more

i was really in no mood to tell.. it was a fucking grudge u know alan? whatever his problem is, i reported to the police. and the police look at me like as if im sucking his fucking penis.. when i reported it.. dated 25thjanuary.. they couldnt belived their eyes. what do you think you ass? uS is a big damn COUNTRY.. even the police tried to touched me. FUCK OFF. SUCK UR MOMMA's i left my report with him finally.. and i let it go.. few days later ALAN was caught for bribing me and raping me. he was useless bastard. all those fucking videos was snatched by the police. and guess what? that fucking policemen watched it. in the first place it was for reference. but must YOU watched it for fucking several times? NOPE! the next minute one of them asked for my fucking number. in the end the whole thing ended and he was heard in court 25th march. he was sentenced for 5 fucking whore years in JAIL> damn you. so girls. when you are raped. DONT be AFRAID of theBRIBEs. just report it. DAMN them. they need to be PUNISHED. upside down HAMMER their fucking LONG PENIS. got it? he was the course of my suffer. which turned me to be wild and emo and gOTHIC. ELLE hates to mention this. i hate it.
elle wants u to carry on reading it.

yes

i drank up a glass of wine at
gabriel's bar.
after drinking it i was so sleepy.
i knew something was wrong.
i can see alan's shadow.
he said
'you need rest'
that moment i tought he was
good and responsible.
i was led to a room
and laid on the bed.
was sleepy and restless.
next he said.
SLEEP WELL.
he left.
i rolled about the bed.
and finally asleep.
noises breakthrough and i was in pain.
'fuck her now! yes better! c'mon man,this angle now'
i was so much in fucking pain.
i was totally restless.
his penis was inserted. and i knew i lost it.
alan was too energetic that he would not stop. i was filmed.
i tried to rebel.but they were too strong.
TWO OF THEM.
i was exhausted. and finally they came to an end.
'you know what to do.craving?ask more. if you tell i post
ur fucking sucking penis film off'
i stayed at gabriel's hse dat day.
SHE KNOWS IT!(remind you)
i was dumbfounded.
i left the world that way.
so much in pain.
eventhough they enjoyed it. as a first timer wasnt great at all.
mine was teared and bleeding and i was forced to suck..
so girls.
if you had a boyfriend.
DO NOT FALL TO HIS TRAP!
it was NOT enjoyable.
GRUDGE!


GOTH gonna tell you wad happened to alan.

i lost it

yes. i lost it.
the virginity.
i was FORCED to it.
it was not bryan.
after a few weeks
of the break up.
a guy harassed me in college.
he.
said that it was okay if you lose BRYAN.
other guys are available.
DO YOU THINK I GIVE A DAMN CARE?

absolutely NO.
after for some time.
it was halloween.
my class celebrated it at gabriel's house.
we all wer such costumes.
that i've decide to wear as gothic i can be.
with all the tighties i wear and the black make up.
i wasnt the hit among the boys but.
aLAN(the guy) was there..

and guess what happen next?

GOTH wants u to read..

dead

didnt i told u all fucking ass
earlier?
my so called dad?
was created as a hardcore monster
he.
sneak into my room.
trying to.
snatch the virginity.
and he did not.
he was kick at his PENIS.
damn you!
im not your wife SON of the bitch.
i hate my grandparents much to the core.
everyone discriminate me ALOT
i wont deny.

after all im an EMO GOTHIC who live her life at all time.
i think about bryan.
he was handsome.
respectable. awesome.gorgeous.
being the best basketball player was common to be wooed
he was popular.
did i give a DAMN CARE?
he was mine.
not now and never.
he tried raping me.

and this does not end here.
i LOST IT.

GOTH WANT YOU TO KNOW WHAT SHE LOST

and here my story starts

let me tell you what really happen
to this GOTHIC BITCH here.

i was seventeen.
two years back.
i was not gothic at all.
not even as emo now.

i was normal.
having a cheeky life.
yah damn cheeky.

i had my relationship with
BRYAN.
i love him much till fucking deep.

we loved each other like till death.
it goes on for 7 month.
that short.
untill one day.
im not creating this.
hell yes.
i was almost raped by him.
i rebel.
i pushed him.
he tried to do it.
you know wad fucking im talking.
i kicked his freaking groin.
and when i rejected his move.
he DITCH me.
saying the whole world that im a WHORE.
I AM NOT.
this is the truth.
we broke up and i couldnt accept this.
the one that i fucking love so much.
leave me upon rejection.
i ended my hatred to him by slapping him and kick his ass.
the whole college called me BITCH.
yes i am.
till that day onwards.
i discriminate BOYS MAN

GOTH continues..

who am i?

i am who i am.
named after annoyed mum
ELLISA audrey
hated dat name so much.
why GOTH?
till death tear me APART.
im gothic. and hated life,
why suffer?
he DITCH ME who i loved.
he left me.
mum and dad left me in a bin.
picked by her the angel.
her devil fucking husband
suck to the core.
ill treat ELLE.
advantage comes where no one is.
yes. that does happen.
dont just rely on movies.
bullshit.
i had my life that way.
FUCKING life it is.


goth continues it way.

the bullshit.

i've tell all of you enough bullshit.
no tagboard and no linking.
yes none!
all i want is for all of you to
READ my blog and learn
what life total is.
cause this gothic here
dont give a damn.
i had all.
i failed in all
life.
boys.
family.
everything are bullshit.
i live my life a sad life.
FRUSTATED the word is.
im all sad.
tears dropped the moment i think of it.
so any druel comments
hit me back at elle_gothicemo@hotmail.com
this GOTH reply to emails.
not bullshit tagboards.
read my blog.
learn wad life is.

GOTH exist.

gothic exist to world

let me tell you all.
i am here finally trying to share what world is.
so dont tell me any fucking shit.
cause i am not interested.
yes.im not.
so
why blogging?
cause no one really knows me.
and of sourse tell everyone what
EMO GOTHIC is.
that is what life is.
TELL THE WORLD.
damn you.